Building the Beloved Community One Group at a Time

"We . . . must learn to see ourselves as a community, a people--and not simply as individuals who happen to gather on Sunday."

--John Morgan

For the last six months, the small group of us that you met this morning has been meeting to discuss the implementation of a "small group ministry" program here at the First Religious Society. Calling ourselves the "Small Group Ministry Implementation Team," we have met at least once a month and sometimes more to begin to shape a program that we hope will work for our congregation. The name that we have arrived at for our initiative is "shared ministry groups."

The idea behind shared ministry groups is that intimacy requires small groups of people meeting together. It cannot be accomplished in the context of the Sunday morning worship service. As our congregation has grown and become less personal, demonstrated most vividly by the fact that it is really no longer possible to know everyone who attends church here, I have long felt a need to create opportunities for us to get to know one another better.

Another idea behind shared ministry groups is a very old one that has its origins in the Protestant Reformation of the 16th century: it's called the "priesthood of all believers." That is, the idea that we are all ministers, one to another. As the responsive reading reminds us, "we need one another."

It is interesting that our Puritan ancestors believed it took a critical mass of eight to ten persons to "gather" a congregation, but that when the congregation had grown so large that people could no longer know each other face to face (usually at around 80 to 100 persons) it was time to start a new congregation. You see, the Puritans wanted to know each other and to offer each other what they often called "mutual love and support" or, just as importantly, "mutual edification one of another." They wanted to be able to support and, if necessary, even to correct their fellow congregants. But they also hoped to learn from each other and to keep each other walking the strait and narrow path. And they recognized that in order to do this, people had to know each other well enough to be able to recognize when their neighbors needed support or correction.

Our intention is not so punitive as was that of the Puritans, but it is certainly about being able to give care and support to our fellow pilgrims along the journey of life and to learn from them. Our intention is to create a way for us to get to know each other better, to create intimacy, and to better assimilate the newcomers among us. One of the most successful methods for doing this in larger congregations is the concept of "small group ministry," meetings of eight to ten persons on a regular basis, a movement which has been evolving across religious denominations during the last ten years.

The basic idea is that the larger a congregation grows, the more it needs many small groups in order for people to really get to know one another.

But we already have committees, you might say. Yes, and while committees sometimes accomplish some of the same goals, it is also true that, as someone has said, with truth, "people join church for community, not committees." Community may be an indirect outcome of committee work, but it is not the main purpose. By their nature, committees exist to get the work of the church done. "Shared ministry groups" will exist solely for the purpose of community building and for deepening our own spiritual experience. They will have no other purpose. The only work they accomplish will be "the work of the people": literally, the definition of "liturgy." They will not replace committees, nor will they replace any other already existing groups in the church. They will be, as it says in the Bible, "a new thing."

As my colleague Glenn Turner, who has written extensively about small group ministry, puts it,

Two things the small group ministry addresses. First, it structures and nurtures caring relationships in a group of manageable size. Second, it provides an ongoing opportunity for us to explore life issues in a religious context. It's not a class. It's not systematic learning.

Thandeka, a Unitarian Universalist theologian who teaches at Meadville Lombard Theological School in Chicago, has written that

Small group ministry does not offer advice, guidance and direction. It does not resolve personal problems. It simply stops time so that the FULL presence of each person is acknowledged and appreciated in that moment. Problems are not "worked on." Feelings are shared. Treatments are not offered; attention is given. Each moment is packed full of joys and sorrows, the victories and defeats, the thoughts and ideas that make each lived moment of our life an experience worthy of our time.

After check-in, the heart of each meeting is the discussion of the topic for the day. This takes the form of a question or statement which forms the basis for a group discussion. (For our Implementation Team meetings, this has taken the form of nuts and bolts discussions about how to start a small group ministry program, what shape it will take, how large the groups will be, and so forth. The details.) Typically the topic of the day will be something chosen by the minister or a small group of facilitators which will help us to transcend the superficial and to think of issues of vital importance in our lives. In other words, the topic of the day will attempt to focus out attention on issues of ultimate concern.

What sorts of topics are typical? Here are a few possibilities: Sacred places; forgiveness; learning from failure; living with loss; what is prayer?; risk; the sense of gratitude; community; life and death; the nature of God. Actually, just about anything you can think of which brings us to those ultimate questions of life: the whys and wherefores of existence.

Let me be clear: the purpose is to share thoughts and ideas, to listen attentively, to learn, but not to argue, debate, or pontificate. The facilitator's job is to see that this is the case. Or as Glenn Turner has said, "The point is to value and take care of each other."

After the discussion of the topic of the day, there is an opportunity for participants to briefly share what they have liked or what they have wished might have happened during the discussion. This is followed by a closing reading. And that's it.

It is both simple and profound. How often do we really have a theological discussion, or have an opportunity to listen and to be heard on issues of ultimate concern? Unlike committees, whose purpose is to produce a product or complete a task, shared ministry groups exist for no other purpose than to offer us spiritual nurture. As my colleague Phyllis O'Connell in Wellesley Hills has written,

The groups are not personal support groups, therapy groups or adult education offerings. They are opportunities to explore life's big questions, questions of ultimate meaning in small groups where trust has been established and people have come to know each other well.

Consider the following testimonial. Bill Galbraith, a long time member of the Augusta, Maine UU congregation, where they have had an active small group ministry program for a number of years, had served his church in many capacities: finance committee chair, building and grounds committee, and so on. But he wanted to move away from that sort of work. He wanted a change, so he asked to become a shared ministry group facilitator. Here is what he said about his experience:

After years of doing all those different jobs in the church, I really wanted to work on something more spiritual, more connected. Now, within my church, I have my own little neighborhood to take care of. I have my small garden to tend, my own neighborhood to care for and nurture. We have our ups and downs and ups again, and it is just wonderful.

So what are we waiting for? Our plan is to begin our shared ministry group program next fall. Members of the Parish Committee have already had an opportunity to participate in a shared ministry group experience. We already have enough facilitators for several groups, and we will be offering an opportunity for facilitator training in September for those who might be interested in being a group leader. There will be more information available at coffee hour, an opportunity to ask questions of our Implementation Team members, and a chance to let us know of your interest. No commitment is necessary at this time: we just want to know if you think you might want to participate in one of our shared ministry groups or possibly to take the facilitator training.

Ministry, wrote Bucky McKeeman, happens

Whenever there is a meeting
that summons us to our better selves, wherever
     our lostness is found
     our fragments are united
     our wounds begin healing
     our spines stiffen and
     our muscles grow strong for the task.

The Rev. Harold E. Babcock