By Reverend Rebecca Bryan

The text message came through as I walked out the door of our home. “There’s a Letter to the Editor in this morning’s paper. You should read it.”  

And so it began, the unexpected bend in the road, an unanticipated Letter to the Editor in the newspaper, opposing the banner hung outside our church. Allow me to read it in its entirety, not to fuel indignation, but rather to allow all to hear what it said: 

A walk down Pleasant Street in Newburyport  

on a sunny day has always brought joy to my heart.  

The landmark Unitarian church gleams in 

the sunshine and like a sentinel seems 

to be keeping watch over the citizenry. 

Today, however, I could not help but 

grimace and sigh in displeasure at the 

political posting that sullied the front of 

the building. 

Like he went after the money changers, 

Jesus would tear this ugly graffiti down forthwith.  

It is titled, “In this congregation we believe,”  

and the ugly political talking points follow. 

“Black lives matter.” 

This is a domestic terrorist group. 

“Climate change is real.” 

No kidding, it always changes  

and humans have no significant impact on it. 

“No human being is illegal.” 

We are a nation of laws. If you came here unlawfully,  

you are a criminal and  

thus an illegal alien subject to deportation. 

“All genders are whole, holy and good.” 

There are two genders, male and female.  

That’s what Genesis tells us and what science tells us. 

“Women have agency over their bodies.” 

Yes they do, but that does not give them the right to 

kill another human being who happens 

to be growing in their womb. 

I do not attend this church, but I do not 

believe that everyone who does could 

be happy with what strikes me as a 

direct affront to God himself. 

A beautiful church has been desecrated 

to serve a political agenda and those 

responsible should be ashamed of 

themselves. And it’s also time to find 

another route for my afternoon walk. 

As I said, I did not read this to be provocative or prove how right we are. I read it so that we are not distracted trying to remember or asking the person sitting next to us what it said.  

More important, I read it so that I can speak to those who are directly affronted by these words.  

Gender fluid, nonbinary, and transgender friends, we are sorry. Gender is not  static, and it is not binary. It is the state of being male or female in relation to the social and cultural roles considered appropriate for men and women. We are a welcoming congregation and your allies. We will stand up against those who discriminate or threaten you.  

To our black members, families, and friends. We stand with you. Black lives do matter, and we will work to do whatever we can until that is a reality. Immigrants, we are a safe place, and we are partnering with other faith communities right now to keep you safe. Women, we work for sexual justice and have done so faithfully as a denomination for more than fifty years. And dear Mother Earth, we have harmed you, and we are doing what we can to respond to that harm and to prevent further damage.  

This church is a safe place for all people, with all political views. However, we will not tolerate threats, especially to those the least empowered to respond to them. For it is our diversity, in all its forms, that makes us beautiful and makes us strong.  

Now back to my original story, because it’s important and relevant to today’s sermon on discernment.  

I knew what to do after reading the letter to the editor. I emailed the Parish Board, our Director of Finance and Administration, our Director of Community Engagement, and two other members of the congregation I know are experienced in issues of communication and asked for collective and collaborative discernment about how we best respond. I didn’t have to think about this as several key values were well established before this incident occurred. These include shared ministry, commitment to our seven principles, and collaboration. Those fundamental values were promised in the founding of our faith and reiterated in the covenant we made to one another when I was installed as your settled minister.  

Very quickly, in a state of calm responsiveness, the Board agreed on a course of action. We spoke with the Director of Communications at the UUA and communicated to the congregation as soon as possible what had happened and our plans to respond. Later that evening, Karen Young, as Board Chair, wrote the moving letter Jason read this morning. The letter was grounded in our principles of faith and the Affirmation of Faith we recite together every Sunday. Board members happily signed on, and the letter was sent without drama.  

We didn’t discuss how to retaliate, nor did we bad–mouth the author or speculate who else in town might agree with him. Why would we? That would be out of covenant with you and with each other. Our discernment in this case happened quickly. Sometimes that happens naturally; at other times circumstances necessitate it. It can also take time, weeks, years, or a lifetime, to discern our course of action. Our biggest questions are the threads that weave throughout all of our days, perhaps never fully answered to our satisfaction.  

Discernment stems from two Latin words: dis, meaning ‘apart,’ and ‘cernere,’ to separate.’ It is the process of making a decision based on one’s ability to separate the true from the false or the best from the good in choices.  

Burton D. Carley and Laurel Hallman write in Not for Ourselves Alone, “Discernment is much more than using good judgment about matters of importance. It is also a quality of wisdom and a way of living our whole lives, in authenticity, in covenant with others and with the Holy. It is the capacity for connecting our decisions to our deepest calling about purpose.”1   

Learning the art of discernment and supporting one another in that process are fundamental to our faith tradition and this congregation.  Reverend Douglas Taylor references this when he says “… the binding element of our communities is our promise of how we will be together.”2  

The Letter to the Editor and our response highlight two important components of effective discernment: being clear about our values and knowing to whom we are accountable. We discern what our goals are and how to respond in a situation based on our values and our relational promises.  

As Unitarian Universalists connected to this church, we know our values, and we have made promises to one another. We can differ in our opinions and our theologies and remain committed to our values and each other. Values and politics are different things, although the line between them can easily be blurred unless we are careful. This again is where we hold one another accountable.  

The Board has been hard at work analyzing and synthesizing the data that nearly 190 of you shared with us about your values, vision, and dreams for this church. We will be unveiling these core values as well as our proposed mission and ends statements during worship on March 15th.   

As a congregation, we have to integrate and sometimes balance our accountability to each other and our accountability to other people and things. We are accountable to our families, other communities, and our dreams. Many of us are accountable to God, whether we understand that as spirit, a higher power, or ethical humanism. We are also accountable to our partners, in justice work, service, and other shared missions. Parker Palmer tells a story in his book A Hidden Wholeness about a government worker who was forced to decide whether to accept a proposal that gave a higher priority to profit than to land preservation. After discernment in the company of trusted others, he chose land preservation, fully aware of the risks the decision imposed on his employment. “I don’t report to my boss.” He told Palmer. “I report to the land.”3 

I used to think that some people made their decisions individually, and others did it in concert with others. I now understand that although most of us have a preference for one of those ways, both are important. Many spiritual teachers teach of the need to have self-awareness and trusted community, whether that be one trusted friend or a larger group.  

I appreciate Parker’s perspective on solitude and community: 

Solitude… 

It is not about the absence of other people –  

it is about being fully present to ourselves,  

whether or not we are with others.  

Community…means never losing the awareness  

that we are connected to each other…4 

Quakers gather together in Clearing Committees; 12–step programs use meetings and sponsors. We have chalice circles that foster such relationships. Parker Palmer encourages what he calls “circles of trust,” the primary purpose of which is to support individuals in connecting to their inner truth by creating sacred, safe space and asking open ended questions. He writes, “We have much to learn from within, but it is easy to get lost in the labyrinth of the inner life. We have much to learn from others, but it is easy to get lost in the confusion of the crowd.”5   

Effective discernment is essential if we are to live integrated, whole, authentic lives, as individuals and as a congregation. When we don’t, we run the risk of living split or “divided” within ourselves. Parker says we need to unite our “roles and souls.”  

Spirituality and faith are not alone in recognizing the importance of discernment. The Association of American Colleges and Universities identifies it as “… essential to the development of personal and social responsibility… key to preparing students …for a globally engaged democracy.”6  

Discernment or the art of making authentic, value–driven, accountable choices is a lifelong endeavor. Developing its muscles before a major incident is helpful, though crises do carry wonderful opportunities as well. Discernment is also cumulative. It is the accumulation of the seemingly small decisions that most often lead to the biggest outcome. They also prepare us for the large decisions.  

1. G. Sebald said, “We take almost all of the decisive steps in our lives as a result of slight inner adjustments of which we are barely conscious.” It certainly was true for how we responded to the letter incident. We had our values, we knew who we were accountable to, we trusted one another. We had made those decisions that strengthened those things many times before, in small and large ways. 

During this month, you will be asked to make important decisions including:  

• What this church means to you  
• For some of you, whether you want to join 
• What gifts you commit to the church, financially and otherwise 
• How you will support and engage with our new values, mission, and ends.  

These are all important decisions. None of them, however, are as important as the decision to be true to yourself, the discernment that will help you to live a united, integrated life in which your mind, heart, and actions align. That is the life where you experience joy and make meaning and where you give and receive love. It is there that we will find our treasures.  

Amen and blessed be.